If you’re like most people, you can probably give someone the basic definition of “collection agency”. You might have even been an unwilling victim in a merciless threat campaign by some unrelenting debt collector, yourself. And, you also know that going into debt is humiliating enough, without the added attacks and constant reminders of your failures from some irritating agent.

Wouldn’t it be fun to deliver a little pay back – so the world’s collection agencies get a little taste of the pie they’ve dished out to others over the years? Well, in the interest of keeping the playing field leveled – and to have a laugh – here’s a few ideas to put into play, that might balance the scales a bit if you’re ever stuck in a predicament where you’re phone has become the enemy:

Deny, Deny, Deny – It’s relatively easy to tell when you’ve got a “collector” on the phone. In addition to the strange “800″ number showing up, the call often begins with a recording that asks the listener to either confirm – or deny – that they’ve got the right person. If he is the incorrect party, he’s supposed to hang up the phone – end of story. Well, you can always choose to go this route – but although this will delay having to talk to them, it won’t stop them from tying up your phone to try to catch you in the lie.

A better – and really hilarious – thing to do, is to wait for the recording to stop and a live person to come on instead. This is your entry – before they even say Hello, start screaming at the top of your lungs that “they have the wrong person again, you’re starting to get really “shaky”, and you’re warning them to stay away, because your “mind’s getting worse!” Pull this scene on every collector who harasses you – eventually, some will probably fall away, not wanting to waste anymore time on a crazy person.

“Speak in a weird language” – This works even if you do pick up the phone, and suddenly realize the person asking for you is a debt representative. When they ask for you, say something like, “Just a moment and I’ll go get him.” Then say loudly – so they hear you – “It’s for you”. Wait a few moments, then pick it up, pretending to be someone who can’t speak a stitch of the national language. Trudge through anything they say, and make sure to throw in a few semi-coherent one syllable answers to certain questions – so they think you might understand them after all. When they’re starting to feel like they have the upper hand again, suddenly go into “gibberish overdrive”, and act like you’re confused. You will find that the agency may start to decrease their phone attacks after a while.

Pretend to “want” to talk to them – Yes. Pretend you’re willing to speak with them – all night long, about yourself. Act lonely and needy, and beg them to stay on the phone with you – just for some human contact. Then keep them on the phone for as long as you can. Start off by telling them you’d love to pay the money you owe, but you haven’t been able to go out of the house – or get a date, for that matter – since the sudden onslaught of that horrible, contagious skin condition, you’ve had for the last five years. Bore them with every thought, misfortune and problem you’ve ever had. Beg them to give you their home phone number – and when he insists he has to go, make sure you make him promise to call you back before he goes to sleep for the night. You probably won’t hear from him again. And if you keep up the routine, you just may not ever hear from that particular agency again.

Hopefully, you got a laugh over some of the creative – but harmless ways – you can turn the tables on a collection agency that won’t leave you alone. If you ever find yourself in this situation, but still can’t bring yourself to do something like this, just imagining how they’d be caught off guard, might be enough to lighten your load anyway.

Learn more about collection agency. Stop by Burnstein and Burnstein’s site where you can find out all about commercial collection agencies and what they can do for you.

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