Here are some dumb blond jokes from the book ‘100% Blonde Jokes‘.

A Smart Blonde Joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?” Finally… a smart blonde joke.

At the Bus Stop Two blonds are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blonds leans inside and asks the bus driver: “Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?” The bus driver shakes his head and says, “No, I’m sorry.” Hearing this, the other blond leans inside, smiles, and twitters: “Will it take ME?”

Blonde Shoots Herself A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No, Silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.” “And then?” asked the doctor. “Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.” “And then?” “Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”

Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes… This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, ‘Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…’

Blonde Guy A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!” The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten bastard, “says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!

Read more blonde jokes from the best blonde jokes book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Find more now!

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