A new, first of its kind disease has swept the nation, with origins in Canton, Ohio. This disease is spreading like wildfire, and the only thing officials know about it so far is that it’s some kind of fever.

The disease has been temporarily labeled “Pigskin Fever”. Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one’s face in team’s colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.

Those inflicted with the illness supposedly insist upon spending Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and once in a while, Thursday, spending as much time in front of the television as they possibly can while watching football in an effort to control their symptoms.

Someone we know, who goes by the name of Bob, claimed that the illness struck him all at once, just when he least expected it. He had spent most of the summer months outside, catching a few baseball games and NASCAR races here and there. One day, while watching Sports Center, he caught a glimpse of a football training camp and everything went downhill from there.

The victim’s neighbors say they saw this coming all year. Everything on his front lawn now resembles footballs, and he even went so far as to tackle a neighbor carrying a sack of potatoes. The entire neighborhood is alarmed.

The scary thing about this outbreak is that authorities predict it will continue to spread at a rapid pace through the rest of the year. The remedy, they say, is to fill a stadium with 100,000 or more people at universities around the country.

The Surgeon General went so far as to say that there may be something wrong with you if you DON’T suffer from this disease, as he believes that anyone in mainstream society is much better off with the symptoms.

Having said all that, football is back! I’m one happy man for it!

If you think you may be infected with these symptoms, we would suggest you head immediately to the NFL forum at RootZoo Sports, where you can answer over 55,000 sports trivia questions, play NFL pick ‘em games, and more.

Be Sociable, Share!