My Misuse Of Christmas T-Shirts
Collecting things has always kind of been…my thing. When I was a little kid, I absolutely had to have every new GI Joe that came out. I had so many GI Joes that we had to build shelves in my room for them. When I was a teenager, I started in on collecting comic books. Comics were an obsession that lasts even to this very day, but when I got into college I began with a whole new collection…of Christmas t-shirts. I wanted to be different, and wearing nothing but Christmas t-shirts sure struck me as being different.
I’m not really as nuts as I may seem, you know. There was a very clear reason why I bought seven shirts the first time I ever made an online order for these Christmas t-shirts. Seven shirts for the seven days of the week. I was determined to wear nothing but the cutesiest, silliest, loveable Christmas-themed shirts I could find. The nefarious reason I wanted to wear these ridiculous things is because in a college town where everyone looks and dresses the same…I would stand WAY out. It was a way to make a statement that fashion doesn’t matter and that a good personality is what really matters.
Whatever statement I was trying to make with these Christmas t-shirts didn’t matter, because the whole thing worked so very well. It worked so well, as a matter of fact, that I found myself talking to a raven-haired beauty one night at a party. This was one of those conversations that last all night long and the party pretty much fazes out of focus. No one existed except for her. I don’t know if that was love at first sight, but I know it was something special. What was even weirder was that not a single word was said about that Christmas t-shirt I was wearing.
Things seemed to progress really quickly at this point. We spent more and more time together, became a charming couple that everyone liked, and then eventually moved into an apartment together. I had planned on staying single until I was out of college, but that plan didn’t even matter any longer. All that mattered were my classes and my girlfriend. I knew I was hopelessly in love with her when I noticed her looking through my laundry and shaking her head disapprovingly and immediately hated all of those shirts. I didn’t even have to ask her what was bothering her.
It was definitely time to get rid of all of these Christmas t-shirts that had been clogging up my closet for the last three years. I literally had around a hundred of the things. I had no idea how bad my obsession had gotten. I went to me sweetheart and told her that I wanted to give them to charity. Throwing them all away seemed like such a waste. We loaded them up and took them to a shelter for people living on the streets, and I felt a whole lot better about myself when we were done.
Several months later, the Christmas holiday crept up like it is wont to do. My dear lady has a huge heart, so she talked me into going and serving meals on Christmas eve at the same shelter I gave all my shirts to. When we got there and walked through the door, I was stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t do anything but stare. There were a hundred-some-odd people wearing the Christmas t-shirts I had donated months before. It seemed so warm and festive that I couldn’t help but weep. My girlfriend squeezed my hand, knowing that I finally knew what those Christmas t-shirts were really for.
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