The Christmas season is as close to the pain and torture of the Inquisition that you can get in this modern era. You may thing that I’m being overly dramatic, but when you are someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder who hosts Christmas for almost two dozen relatives, then things can get out of control. For a person with OCD, out of control is almost physically painful. I get headaches, stomach cramps, nausea, and worse from it. I was told in therapy that I should have something that I can control completely to ease the stress. That something for me this year will be funny Christmas t-shirts.

On Christmas Eve, I have several family members coming in from out-of-town to stay through the weekend with my and my family. That’s a total of four days, but the only two that are really stressful are Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I plan on using funny Christmas t-shirts as a distraction for both myself, and the family as they arrive all during the day. The first one is going to be fairly uncouth, because it really goes against a lot of what my family knows about me. It’s a pretty funny shirt that has an image of a grotesquely fat Santa pooping down someone’s chimney with a caption that reads, “You know you’ve been bad when…” If that shirt doesn’t get a laugh, I can’t think of one that will.

Christmas Day is the real killer for me, though. That one day of the year when nothing I plan comes out right. If it were possible, I would just go check into a clean hotel room and hide until everyone left. The year that I actually tried that, though, was a big fiasco. The cops were called and a missing persons report was filed, and everything. In order to manage my control issues, I will be wearing three funny Christmas t-shirts over the course of the day. The first will be a fat little bulldog saying “I Want It All, Santa!” for when the kids are opening presents. That will get a laugh, I’m sure!

Things get really bad for me sometime right after lunch. I’m not sure any amount of funny Christmas t-shirts will be able to save my sanity, but I’m hoping that my ability to control what I’m wearing will give me a jolt of reality. All day, people will be interrupting me while me and the wife are trying to cook a feast for 18 people. They all mean well and want to help, but it would be so much more help if they would just take care of the kids and leave us alone. I’m going to be wearing a shirt of an electrified cat biting into some Christmas lights. Hopefully, that will deliver my message clearly.

The last of my funny Christmas t-shirts will be worn after dinner and after everything’s cleaned up. This is when the recovery period sets in and I have a couple glasses of wine. This is when I really enjoy my family and stop stressing out about how perfect the day needs to be. I’ll put on the last shirt that features a whole family of snowmen holding hands. It will say, “There’s nothing quite like a Christmas family.” I think they’ll all get the picture.

If you need to know more about funny Christmas t-shirts check out funny Christmas t-shirts for a great example.

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