Got Funny

Dr Wan Hu postulates that self storage was the first commercial activity undertaken by mankind. Here’s a review of some of history’s great self storage projects.

The Upper Palaeolithic peoples of Central Europe are well known for their exquisite cave drawings. Fine examples exist in Lascaux, France; Cave of Altamira, Spain and Creswell Crags, UK. The eminent professors extensive studies suggest that the drawings of bison, horses and deer, informed hunter-gathering cavemen of what could be safely stored in each cave. Further research is required to validate this exciting hypothesis.

Perhaps the most spectacular storage building is The Great Pyramid of Giza. Built with 2.3 million limestone blocks, it’s over 50 stories high. It took 3800 years before the 160m spire of Lincoln cathedral surpassed the pyramid’s height. Incredibly there are only 3 chambers in this vast structure. Builders of modern storage structures would be horrified with this poor utilisation of space. Concerns would also be expressed about security since the items in all 3 chambers were stolen.

Noah was an early storage innovator, offering a solution to poor weather conditions. His business foresight and acumen is recorded in the Book of Genesis (chapters 6 to 9). Just after the completion of his Ark, a bad storm threatened his enterprise, but he was able to save his family and plenty of animals. Doubtless his reputation and future success were enhanced by this experience.

In 210BC Qin Shi Huang, the First Emperor of China decided to store a terracotta army. In all 8,000 soldiers, 130 chariots, 520 horses and 150 cavalry horses were put into storage. This modest effort required 7,000 workers. In this case security was superb and the army was only discovered in 1974 by some farmers drilling for water. Having survived for over 2000 years the army is now under attack by 9 different kinds of mould and by the breath of visitors. They should have opted for a climate controlled storage facility.

If you had to store Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Gordon Jackson and David McCallum, you wouldn’t put them all in the same camp would you? You’d send a couple to Colditz. But no, the German air force decided to put them all in the same place. What a mistake. Tom, Dick and Harry were being dug before you could say “more pudding Mr Goering”. Clever Mr McCallum used his socks to get rid of the dirt. And Steve McQueen was in and out of the cooler for his many escapes. Storage professionals always take care of security – it’s what the business is about.

Fort Knox is one of the more successful storage centers. The United States Department of the Treasury has maintained the Bullion Depository since 1937. The majority of self storage buildings store a wide variety of belongings, but Fort Knox has restricted itself to gold. It appears to do that job remarkably well. Only Goldfinger, got anywhere close to penetrating the tight security, but 007 was there to save the day.

In all it’s glorious history, self storage operatives have striven for the highest levels of honesty, integrity and professionalism. Sadly one storage centre in London has recently let the side down. What is going on in the Houses of Parliament, where British politicians are stored? This building seems to house a lot of bad eggs. Security is lapse; they can come and go as they please. Instead of offering leadership of the highest order, many appear to have their noses in the trough. Time for a cull.

That dash through history illustrates the importance of self storage through the ages. Did you know there are over 52,000 self storage facilities in the US offering 2.2 billion square feet of space? And there’s another 7 in Glasgow, Scotland.