by Reynaldo Tempenter

Ban it, I say, ban it. Ban it. Ban the bikini. Now before all of you go getting your knickers all bunched up and in a twist, let me provide you with a full and detailed explanation.

I’m only talking about one kind of bikini and that’s for men. Men should not wear bikini underwear in private or in public (why they would wear it in public is still a little sketchy even to me). There, I’ve said it. Ban the bikini underwear.

Let me give you some what fors. First of all, you wear bikini underwear to show off a well-toned body (or it should be one of the top three). But remember, these are bikini underwear. Underwear, men, underwear. Not outer wear or swimwear, but underwear. Gentlemen, if you have a well-toned body, why not just wear briefs or boxers like the rest of us untoned and unrefined people? I get it; you definitely don’t want to be like the rest of us peons. Therefore, you’ve deliberately chosen to wear something that would make you stand out in a crowd, a private crowd, that is. Then again, in private settings, why would you bother?

I suppose you could make a case for bikini swimwear, albeit a weak one at best. That would be a way you could parade around showing off your well-defined body. Ah, big deal. Who needs it?

Also, what is the practical application for bikini underwear? There is none that I can think of. Of course, if all you want to do is to put extra dollars into the underwear manufacturers’ coffers, then have at it. Tell me honestly, though, what can you do with bikini-type underwear that you can’t with the old standby boxers or briefs? They are anything but practical in my opinion. It’s not my money, and you are certainly free to throw it around (or away) however you please, but don’t try to convince me otherwise. My opinions are not for sale.

So tell me truthfully, men, why do you subject yourself to humiliation and grief in locker room settings? Why would you even think that wearing something as skimpy as a suitable undergarment would make you proud in a men’s locker room? Do you honestly think that by wearing these hideous and insidious underwear that you can hide your graying or balding head, growing paunch, and your jelly-like chest? You don’t? Wait a sec, you don’t look like me, do you? Oh, never mind. You wouldn’t understand. Wear what you want, see if I even give a rip.

Please please don’t get me on a roll about thong underwear!

About the Author:
Reynaldo Tempenter is a business writer who loves a good debate. This debate will last forever. Boxers or Briefs? Grab a totally unique version of this article from the Uber Article Directory

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