10 Funniest Quotes by Woody Allen
If there’s one comedian I’d turn to for a sure fire dose of laughter, it would be Woody Allen. It seems like everybody knows who Woody Allen is. He is the man behind Annie Hall, Manhattan, Hannah and her Sisters, and a lot more movies which subscribe to the same film genre. Most of his films deal with recurring themes on sexuality, philosophy, literature, psychoanalysis, New York City, and Jewish identity. Aside from that, his films often portray a self-reflexive Woody Allen persona: the neurotic writer in New York City.
Why do I find him funny? My answer lies in the characteristics of Allen’s humor. His humor can be best described as wry, sarcastic, intellectual, neurotic, and self-deprecating all at the same time. As an audience, I am a fan of all these qualities. Either spoken by him or his characters, Woody Allen’s witty quotations reflects an observant manner of criticizing society. These funny quotes unmistakably echo an undeniable truth. He has long championed the brand of humor that doesn’t undermine the audiences intellect.
Having said that, I have compiled ten of Woody Allen’s funny quotations. These funny quotes were either taken from one of Woody’s interviews or from a funny quotable line uttered by one of his characters. Ive selected funny quotes on sexuality, marriage, literature, death, relationships and pop culture. Surely these funny quotes will not only make you laugh but ponder on other themes as well.
Top 10 Woody Allen Funny Quotes:
1. I took the speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. Its about Russia.
2. If my films don’t show a profit, I know Im doing something right.
3. I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher. They are going to make a board game out of it.
4. In Los Angeles they don’t throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
5. Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
6. A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.
7. I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
8. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got a 100.
9. The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
10. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
As for me, the funniest quotes on the list are the top three quotes. The first one about speed reading is a good example of mockery about pretentiousness. The second quote on film-making reflects a hilarious and defensive view of a film’s commercial value. Lastly the third funny quote is a classic example of his self-deprecating humor where he makes fun of himself as this nerdy Jewish New Yorker. All three quotes exhibit that wry, ironic, and self-deprecating humor which defines Woody Allen. At the end of the day, Woody Allen’s funny quotes exemplify how humor is indeed a universal language.








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