by Philip Donald

Following the events that took place the night of August 9, 2009 in Canton, Ohio it has come to light that an epidemic is spreading across the United States at an alarming rate. There is no known cure for this disease that has been described as a fever. Top health officials are in meetings but feel the outlook is bleak.

The disease has been temporarily labeled “Pigskin Fever”. Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one’s face in team’s colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.

Those inflicted with the illness supposedly insist upon spending Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and once in a while, Thursday, spending as much time in front of the television as they possibly can while watching football in an effort to control their symptoms.

Someone we know, who goes by the name of Bob, claimed that the illness struck him all at once, just when he least expected it. He had spent most of the summer months outside, catching a few baseball games and NASCAR races here and there. One day, while watching Sports Center, he caught a glimpse of a football training camp and everything went downhill from there.

Bob’s neighbors, under condition of anonymity, have stated that they knew it would happen soon. “He has those team flags out and wears nothing but football jerseys and a helmet. If you can’t talk fantasy football then there is no sense in talking to him. Everything has become about football. Just yesterday Mr Jenkins, one of our elderly neighbors,was carrying a sack of potatoes under his arm and suddenly from nowhere comes Bob at full speed and he just blasted poor Mr.Jenkins. Potatoes went everywhere and all Bob could say was “We must protect this house.” It’s really scary for all of us for the next few months.”

The scary thing about this outbreak is that authorities predict it will continue to spread at a rapid pace through the rest of the year. The remedy, they say, is to fill a stadium with 100,000 or more people at universities around the country.

Even the government has been infected with this illness. And happily. They believe the good outweighs the bad, and recommends that anyone without it spends time with someone infected in the hopes of catching it themselves.

On one final note: It’s here people! Football season has arrived so let the hits begin!

About the Author:
If you believe you may be suffering from these symptoms, we would suggest you head immediately to the NFL forum at RootZoo Sports, where you can answer over 55,000 sports trivia questions, play NFL pick ‘em games, and more.

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