There is a common belief that golf is the normal pastime-cum-sport of big shot entrepreneurs and businessmen. It is also perceived as being an exclusive sport and not accessible by regular blue collared employees. However, this is not the reality as modernization and commercialization have brought these so called elite sports into the reach of ordinary workers.

This is because there is no need to have expensive equipment to play a game, so, unlike big game fishing and polo which need very costly resources like a boat or a horse respectively, golfers just need a set of golf clubs, which are reasonably affordable. With this in mind, retirement gifts for golfers and would-be golfers can be easily thought of.

Making personalized retirement gifts for golfers is really quite an easy task since you could easily personalize golfing equipment such as golf club pouches, and caddy covers. These can be knitted (that is if you are into knitting) or crafted using any other materials.

You could think about golfing fashion by concentrating on the attire worn by golfers. You could even end up starting a new trend in golfing clothing by the using your imagination regarding the design of the attire for your retiree.

The most usual method of getting a retirement gift for golfers is to go along to the nearest sports shop and get your retiree something sold there. It may sound a little impersonal to just get the retiree a commercially sold gift, but then this may prove really useful if the retiree is still a novice golfer. Perhaps you could get a book on golfing or a subscription to a golfing magazine.

However, you could try to discover what your retiree golfer still needs or maybe even use your imagination to think about what ways you could employ to enhance the golfing equipment the retiree may already have.

Professionally made golfing equipment is always a safe bet. If you want to make your retiree feel great, get him or her a famous-name set of golf clubs, thereby making him feel like a pro.

You could go to a joke shop and ask if they have any gags|joke items| for the golfer there. They probably do, since golf is such a popular game.

Gag gifts should be chosen very carefully since they can raise sensitive matters for the retiree, especially novice players. Gags as gifts in relation to golfing might be taken the wrong way and put them off, if they are upset by the idea promolgated by the gag or joke given to them.

As for veteran players who are already well adapted to the game, the gift of a good gag on their retirement day would be quite funny as they would already see golfing not only as a way to relieve stress, but also to actually just have some fun.

Retirement gifts for golfers are really just an easy method to help your golfer retiree friend enjoy life after his career has finished.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished.

He looked at the Lord and asked,

“Why did you let him do that?”
The Lord smiled, and replied,

“Who’s he going to tell?”

Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.’ The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.’

 Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. ‘Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?’ She replies, ‘I can’t afford any on the money you give me.’
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says , ‘For the sake of  decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!’

 Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

‘Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are  yer drawers?’ She too explains, ‘You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.’ The Scotsman reaches into his  pocket and says, ‘Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb….. Tidy yerself up a bit.

‘Ah yes, Ernesto.  What can I do for you? Is there a problem?’

‘Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead’

‘My parrot?  Dead?  The one that won the International competition?’

‘Si, Senor, that’s the one.’

‘Damn!  That’s a pity!  I spent a small fortune on that bird.  What did he die from?’

‘From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.’

‘Rotten meat?  Who the hell fed him rotten meat?’

‘Nobody, Senor.  He ate the meat of the dead horse.’

‘Dead horse?  What dead horse?’

‘The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.’

‘My prize thoroughbred is dead?’

‘Yes Senor Rod! , he di ed from all that work pulling the water cart.’

‘Are you insane??   What water cart?’

‘The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.’

‘Good Lord!!   What fire are you talking about, man??’

‘The one at your house, Senor!   A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.’

‘What the hell??   Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!’

‘Yes, Senor Rod..’

‘But there’s electricity at the house!!   What was the candle for?’

‘For the funeral, Senor Rod.’

‘WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!’

‘Your wife’s, Senor Rod’, she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade Super Quad 460 golf club.’

SILENCE . . . . . . .. . . .LONG SILENCE . . . .. . . .

‘Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit!!’

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife advises golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests Golf Courses.
 
They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear.
 
It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. Golfers should be able to “recognize the difference” between Black bear and Grizzly bear droppings on the golf course. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.
 Grizzly bear droppings have bells, golf-gloves and sunglasses in them, and smell like pepper spray.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed  by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip:  your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything  perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term ‘mulligan’ is really a contraction of the phrase ‘maul it again.’
A ‘gimme’ can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers …neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

 Golf’s a hard game to figure out. One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps
and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

 If your best shots are the practice swing and the ‘gimme  putt’, you might wish to reconsider this game.

 Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

 Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive.

The  best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.

David  Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than  Sex…..

#10…  A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9… You can  stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8… It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7…  Foursomes are encouraged.
#6… You can still make money doing  it as a senior.
#5… Three times a day is possible. #4…  Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone  else.
#3…  If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day. #2…  You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.
And  the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex…..
#1…  When your equipment gets old you can replace it!