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Entries for the ‘Redneck Jokes’ Category

You’re An EXTREME Redneck When

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is “out of your [...]

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A Southern Boy

Smart Southern boy (I know you Yankees are thinking , a oxymoron,,
but wait till you read what the Southern boy does)
Old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana
watching the sunrise.
He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his
arm. He yells out, “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
Boy yells back, “Roll [...]

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RedNeck Pickup Lines

1. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2. Are your parents retarded, ’cause you’re sure special.
3. My Love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in.
4. Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d like to sign you out.
5. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself [...]

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Great Living Will

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount [...]

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THE SOUTH — YOU GOTTA LOVE IT

 
Tennessee The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he
decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her
into his office and said, ‘You graduated from the University of Tennessee
and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much
would you take off?’The [...]

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