Bubba  died in a fire and his body was burned pretty  badly.

 The  morgue needed someone to identify the  body,

 so  they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and  Gomer.

 The  three men had always done everything  together.

 Cooter  arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the  sheet,

 Cooter  said,  ‘Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad.  You  better roll him over.’  

 The mortician rolled him over and  Cooter said, ‘Nope, ain’t Bubba.’        

 The  mortician thought this was rather  strange.

 So  he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the  body.                                         

 Gomer  looked at the body and said, ‘Yup, he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll  him over.’    

 The mortician rolled him over and  Gomer said, ‘No, it ain’t Bubba.’        

 The  mortician asked, ‘How can you  tell?’ 

 Gomer  said, ‘Well, Bubba had two assholes.’                                 

 ’What?   He had two assholes?’ asked  the  mortician.              

 ’Yup,  we never seen ‘em, but everybody used to  say,

 ’There’s  Bubba with them two  assholes.’

2nd woman:     Hi! I ‘m Kelly. How’d you die?    

1st woman    I froze to death.  

2nd woman:      How horrible!

1st woman:    It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?  

2nd woman:     I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman:      So, what happened?

2nd woman:    I  was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement.  Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.  

1st woman:      Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive.