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	<title>Got Funny &#187; jesus</title>
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	<link>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com</link>
	<description>Jokes, they arent just for breakfast anymore!</description>
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		<title>Real Peace of Mind</title>
		<link>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/1185/real-peace-of-mind/</link>
		<comments>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/1185/real-peace-of-mind/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Feb 2010 08:59:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jamie Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/1185/real-peace-of-mind/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This day in age, people are turning to religion in droves. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism has embedded it's ideology in the hearts and minds of millions globally. While all these religions deserve respect and tolerance, few in the west have a grasp on the complicated concept of Buddhism.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This day in age, people are turning to religion in droves. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism has embedded it\&#8217;s ideology in the hearts and minds of millions globally. While all these religions deserve respect and tolerance, few in the west have a grasp on the complicated concept of Buddhism.</p>
<p>The end all and be all of online encyclopedias, Wikipedia grabs the first slot on a Google search for the term Buddhism and the breakdown reads like this: \&#8221;Buddhism is a religion and a philosophy encompassing a variety of traditions, beliefs and practices, largely based on teachings attributed to Siddhartha Gautama, commonly known as the Buddha (Pali/Sanskrit \&#8221;the awakened one\&#8221;). The Buddha lived and taught in the northeastern Indian subcontinent sometime between the 6th and 4th centuries BCE.</p>
<p>He is recognized by adherents as an awakened teacher who shared his insights to help sentient beings end suffering, achieve nirvana, and escape what is seen as a cycle of suffering and rebirth. Buddhism is traditionally conceived as a path of liberation attained through insight into the ultimate nature of reality. Two major branches of Buddhism are recognized: Theravada (\&#8221;The School of the Elders\&#8221;) and Mahayana (\&#8221;The Great Vehicle\&#8221;). Theravada, the oldest surviving branch, has a widespread following in Sri Lanka and Southeast Asia, and Mahayana is found throughout East Asia and includes the traditions of Pure Land, Zen, Nichiren Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhism, Shingon, Tendai and Shinnyo-en. In some classifications, a third branch, Vajrayana, is recognized, although many see this as an offshoot of the Mahayana. While Buddhism remains most popular within Asia, both branches are now found throughout the world.</p>
<p>Various sources put the number of Buddhists in the world at between 230 million and 500 million.\&#8221; After living abroad in Asia for several years I have found that Buddhist cultures are more tolerant because the focus is on the \&#8217;self\&#8217; and the meditation on the calming of the mind, concentrating on controlled breathing and the idea that meditation to bring one closer to peace is central to discovering one\&#8217;s self.</p>
<p>If you have the opportunity to investigate the practice of Buddhism, I would highly recommend it. I\&#8217;m not saying to take up the path and convert to a religion but the calming affect that is central to this religions concept will bring a peaceful serenity to your life that you may find useful. All in all respect and tolerance for all religious perspectives is something that people are beginning to make a conscious effort to practice and understanding ideas from various religions can teach us an appreciation that can bring us all closer together.</p>
<p><a>Investor Finder Services</a>, Buddhism Facts<a>Buddhism Factoids</a> the easy way!</p>
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		<title>A conversation with Jesus</title>
		<link>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/888/a-conversation-with-jesus/</link>
		<comments>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/888/a-conversation-with-jesus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:53:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religious Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Back Yard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Beautiful Place]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Burning Questions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conversation With Jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evil Jesus]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jesus Life]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Meaning Of Life]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Quiet Conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scotch And Soda]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[What Is The Meaning Of Life]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a scotch and soda along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a scotch and soda along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.<br />
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.</p>
<p>I said, &#8220;Jesus, why do I work so hard?&#8221;<br />
Jesus replied, &#8220;<a href="http://alltheinfo.iinformyou.com" title="Men">Men</a> find many ways to demonstrate the <a href="http://www.madflirt.com" title="love">love</a> they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather.&#8221;<br />
I said: &#8220;I thought that money was the root of all evil.&#8221;<br />
Jesus replied, &#8220;No, the <a href="http://www.madflirt.com" title="LOVE">LOVE</a> of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad.&#8221;<br />
I was starting to feel better, but I still had a few burning questions, so I asked, &#8220;Jesus, what is the meaning of <a href="http://insurance.iinformyou.com" title="life">life</a>? Why am I here?&#8221;<br />
Jesus replied: &#8220;That is a question many <a href="http://alltheinfo.iinformyou.com" title="men">men</a> ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would <a href="http://www.madflirt.com" title="love">love</a> to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn.&#8221;</p>
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		<title>Jesus And Satan</title>
		<link>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/504/jesus-and-satan/</link>
		<comments>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/504/jesus-and-satan/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:13:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religious Jokes]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, &#8216;THAT&#8217;S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better<br />
on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God<br />
was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said,<br />
&#8216;THAT&#8217;S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that<br />
will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the<br />
better job.&#8217;</p>
<p>So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.<br />
They moused.They faxed.They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments.<br />
They downloaded. They did spreadsheets!They wrote reports.<br />
They created labels and cards.They created charts and graphs.<br />
They did some <a href="http://www.antiagingdatabase.com/category/genealogy" title="genealogy">genealogy</a> reportsThey did every job known to man.</p>
<p>Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.<br />
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed</p>
<p>across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the powerwent off..<br />
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known<br />
in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.<br />
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted theircomputers. </p>
<p>Satan started searching frantically, screaming: &#8216;It&#8217;s gone! It&#8217;s all GONE! &#8216;I losteverything when the<br />
power went out!&#8217;Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from<br />
the past two hours of work.Satan observed this and became irate. &#8216;Wait!&#8217; he screamed.<br />
&#8216;That&#8217;s not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don&#8217;t have<br />
any?&#8217;</p>
<p>God just shrugged and said,</p>
<p><span style="font-size: small;">JESUS SAVES</span></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jesus and the Burglar</title>
		<link>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/195/jesus-and-the-burglar/</link>
		<comments>http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/195/jesus-and-the-burglar/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:42:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random Jokes]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gotfunny.leroysjokes.com/?p=195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, &#8220;Jesus is watching you.&#8221; He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, &#8220;Jesus is watching you.&#8221;</p>
<p>He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a <a href="http://travelcia.com" title="vacation">vacation</a> after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.</p>
<p>Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, Clear as a bell he heard, &#8220;Jesus is watching you.&#8221; Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.</p>
<p>Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.</p>
<p>Did you say that?&#8221; he hissed at the parrot.</p>
<p>&#8220;Yep,&#8221; the parrot confessed, then squawked, &#8220;I&#8217;m just trying to wa rn you.&#8221;</p>
<p>The burglar relaxed. &#8220;Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Moses,&#8221; replied the bird.</p>
<p>&#8220;Moses?&#8221; the burglar laughed . &#8220;What kind of <a href="http://www.v-bit.com/en" title="people">people</a> would name a bird Moses?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;The kind of <a href="http://www.v-bit.com/en" title="people">people</a> that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.&#8221;</p>
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