Got Funny

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 milesper hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
“I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.”
 The wife says nothing,Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her [...]

1. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2. Are your parents retarded, ’cause you’re sure special.
3. My Love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in.
4. Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d like to sign you out.
5. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself [...]

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries..But, now we know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race … you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework … you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard … there’s never any time for [...]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked,’ Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
those many [...]