Got Funny

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 milesper hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
“I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.”
 The wife says nothing,Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her [...]

1. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2. Are your parents retarded, ’cause you’re sure special.
3. My Love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in.
4. Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d like to sign you out.
5. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself [...]

 Dear Wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.
I’ve been a good husband to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last
straw. [...]

A Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed  reading 
when the wife looks over at him and asks THE  question….. 
 
WIFE: ‘What would you do if I died? Would 
you get married again? 
 
HUSBAND: ‘Definitely not!’ 
 
WIFE: ‘Why not? Don’t you like being 
married?’ 
 
HUSBAND: ‘Of course I do.’ 
 
WIFE: ‘Then why wouldn’t you remarry?’ 
 
HUSBAND: ‘Okay, okay, I’d get married  again.’ 
 
WIFE: ‘You [...]