Got Funny

1. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2. Are your parents retarded, ’cause you’re sure special.
3. My Love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in.
4. Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d like to sign you out.
5. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself [...]

A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and
knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.
‘Is yer Dad home?’ the rancher asked.
‘No sir, he ain’t,’ the boy replied. ‘He went into town.’
‘Well,’ said the rancher, ‘is yer Mom here?’
‘No, sir, she ain’t here neither. She went [...]

A redneck is driving down a back road in Georgia . A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
Lobster Tail and Beer
“Lord almighty” he says to himself, “my three favorite things

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A Georgia Redneck, walked into a bank in New York City and
asked for the  loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was
going to Bakersfield on business for two weeks and needed
to borrow $5,000 and  that he was not a depositor of the bank. 
 
  The bank officer told him that the bank would need [...]